Winter is (not) Coming

 I have a confession to make: it's my fault it never snows.

 No, no, no, I'm not Mother Nature. 

But it is my fault. 

Let me explain: 

Emma is the worst sleeper in the history of . . . . . well, ever. 

When she was a baby (last winter - also known as the long autumn) I averaged about 4 hours of sleep each night. 

Ouch. 

The past few months she has done pretty well - most nights she goes to bed at 7:45 and wakes up the next morning at 6:30 without any sort of night-time parental assistance.

 But it seems that Emma can predict weather. Anytime there is the slightest chance for snow, she becomes nocturnal. 

I LOVE snow. But I also LOVE sleep. 

(Spoiler alert: Here's the part where I take the blame for global warming)

So you see, when it's 3 a.m., and I've been trying to cajole Emma back to sleep for hours and hours I kinda maybe sorta make this deal with God where I say that I am fine with it NOT snowing if Emma will just go back to sleep and stay asleep. 

I am so sorry. I am weak. For the sake of the planet, I will try to be stronger. 

UPDATE:
The universe threw me a pity bone and we got a dusting of snow

Apples and Trees

It's pretty universally recognized that Lexi is my mini:

me - circa 1989

Lexi - 2012

But truth be told I've always been a little confused by Emma's sweet looks. She has blond hair and blue eyes and looks NOTHING like me. Now the blue eyes are understandable; Paul's eyes are blue and I have a light-eyed recessive trait (I did the square - I paid attention in Science class sometimes). But the blond hair? How is that even a possibility when Paul and I have dark dark brown hair? Paul tried to assure me that his hair was lighter when he was little but I didn't believe him (I'm notorious for ignoring things Paul says that later turn out to be true). 

When we were in Columbus for Christmas I found this: 

Oh yeah - that is baby Paul.

Emma and Paul side by side. WOW. They are kind of the exact same looking. WEIRD.

 So Emma must be Paul's mini - except that she's a girl, of course.

But that explains where she got her fashionable instincts . . . .

and her tendency towards orneriness.

I told Paul it was like the puppies at the end of "Lady and the Tramp." You know the last scene where they have this litter of puppies and half of them are little cockier-spaniel pups and the others are grey mutt pups? I always thought that was dumb and impossible - the puppies clearly would have mixed genetics and therefore not resemble solely ONE parent and not the other. 

I was wrong. 

But now the real question is - who is the purebred and who is the mutt?

Christmas 2012

Usually a few days before Christmas I contemplate letting a few new toys be opened early since the old ones are no longer amusing. Clearly that was not a problem this year. These were taken a few days before Christmas.

We went to Columbus to see Grandma and Grandpa the weekend before Christmas. Since it is a 3 hour drive, the girls got to open a few presents early to help with the long drive. The new car DVD player and movies were awesome.  We also got some new traveling bags. Emma got a purple one that matches Lexi's (you know how matchiness makes my heart flutter) and I got a new weekend tote. This was desperately necessary - I have been using my high school dance bag for out of town trips and 11 years out of high school is kind of pathetic to still be toting a BC POM bag.

 

 I am in LOVE with their Christmas dresses! Lexi let me curl her hair and Emma left her bow in all night!

 On Christmas Eve we of course set out cookies and milk for Santa. In addition we left some extra special "Reindeer Food" sprinkled on the lawn. This was adorable - oatmeal mixed with glitter! One of the kids in Lexi's class gave them out to everyone on the last day of school with a little poem about how the glitter sparkles to let the reindeer know which houses to go to!

 Roxy might be part reindeer - she thought it was delicious.

 On Christmas morning, my camera died. Seriously? I managed to get a few must-haves though . . .

 Santa brought Lexi an art easel. She was very excited - she loves to draw on the whiteboard in my classroom at school, so this was pretty perfect. Well done, Santa, well done. Her first masterpiece was a picture of the Nativity. Joseph is on the left, baby Jesus is in the manger in the middle, Mary is on the right, and there is a goat in front of her. They are surrounded by the stable - the rest of squiggles represent the dust in the barn. She later added shepherds, 6 more goats, 9 angels, a star, and more dust to this work of art.

 The ONLY thing she has asked for this Christmas is "Rosie Jewelry." Allow me to interpret: She calls Aurora from Sleeping Beauty 'Rosie' - since they did call her Briar Rose in part of the movie. This little jewelry set was something we gave one of her friends as part of a birthday gift in October and she has been fixated on it ever since. Santa delivered!

The only picture that sort of shows Em's new PJs. I always got new PJs on Christmas Eve and continued the tradition on with my children - these might be my new favorites on them. Em's has a cupcake (so appropriate, she loves to eat) and Lexi's has a giraffe (her favorite animal).

 Santa brought Emma a little crib set for her baby dolls. Another hit - she loves to put her baby na-night and feed her in the little high chair. 

Overall we had a great Christmas! We got to see all of our family at one point or another and the girls were delighted by their gifts. Most importantly though, I think we did a great job of helping Lexi to remember that this was about Jesus and his birthday. We'll see if she remembers that come next December, but for now I am pleased!

Merry Christmas!

I broked it

When small children dismember their things and they come to you holding the remains of a previously perfect toy, you look down into their sad eyes and they look back at you and whisper "I broked it."

And you tell them "it's ok, hunny"

Well I am coming to you all with sad eyes and a whispery voice because . . . I broked it. I broke our blog.

You may have noticed that all the pictures in posts from September 2012 back to October 2008 are missing. Yeah, I am really sorry about that. I maybe kinda sorta accidentally deleted 854 pictures.

Picasa web albums is stupid and confusing. I deleted the folder that had all of our blog photos saved to it. I am positive Google plus is to blame, I'm just not sure exactly how to pin this on something else.

But at least now I have a Christmas break project. I plan to restore the photos, I'm just owning my idiocy today.

I broked it, but I'm gonna fix it.

It's ok, hunny.

Thanks.

Silent (Day and) Night

I had a terrible cold this past weekend. Tis the season, you know? Well as usually happens when I get a cold whilst being terribly busy and stressed out . . . I have lost my voice. 

Not just a croaky, froggy sounding lost my voice. Oh no, dearies, when I do something I really DO something - I have gone full blown laryngitis level of lost my voice. I can hardly manage a whisper. 

I feel ok, I just can't create sound. I know what you are thinking: "I'll bet Paul LOVES this - she finally shut herself up!"

I have found that keeping Emma alive has become far more difficult. I can't scream "EMMA, NO!" across the house anymore when she does something like, oh . . . you know, chews on the Christmas tree lights like a rabid animal.

Lexi got into trouble before ballet class this morning for pulling a little girl down off something she wasn't supposed to be climbing on (Lulu is BIG into enforcing rules- she just isn't great at following all of them). Have you ever tried to discipline when your child cannot hear you over their wailing? Our little spectacle delayed the start of class for a full 13 minutes. Embarrassing.

I did go to work and I have to tell you my 5th graders were just awesome. I am totally going to fake not having a voice in the future. They know me pretty well and were telling each other what to do the exact way I would have. They helped give instructions for assignments and bossed each other around better than I could have done. They even threw in a few "Seriously?" remarks, for good imitation measure.

My voice will be back soon (I hope!) as will regular blogs and pictures. And in case you were wondering, I do not think silence is golden.

Constant Vigilance

This quote from the somewhat strange, and occasionally impersonated, Alastor Moody (from the Harry Potter series - but you knew that, of course) really sums up my life right now: 

"Constant Vigilance!" 

You see, my dear Emma is 19 months old and, well, I guess the kindest way to describe her is curious. But that is putting it mildly, for she is also reckless and not at all graceful. In order to make sure that this little lady remains intact I feel that I have to watch her every move. Dishes, laundry, emails, cooking must all be done with one eye, one ear, and a smidgeon of my brain power for all else is focused on keeping Emma alive. 

The problem is this: 

no one seems to believe me. 

They think I am telling stories on Emma. So I have documented. Oh yes, I have been kept extremely busy writing down the ridiculousness of my daughter. So now I bring you: 

From The Trouble-Making Files of Miss Emma-Jo Holding:

• Em refuses to sit in her high chair anymore. REFUSES. So at the too-young age of 19 months she is in a booster seat and I am losing my mind. 

• she spilled an entire cup of water all over Paul's favorite chair. But don't tell him. 
• She knows how to unlatch the child safety locks. She really loves to steal all the spoons and hide them in her playhouse like a flatware hoarder. 

 

• When she wouldn't sit in her highchair anymore we tried using our little table and chairs. Just a few problems with that - A.) that made her too mobile, thus spreading the mealtime messes out over a larger portion of the kitchen. B.) She hasn't quite figured out that whole balance thing yet and she fell out of the chair one time. C.) she used the chairs to help her reach 'new heights'

 

 

 

•  She loves to eat - this is a known fact. But sometimes she likes to eat things that are not food. I have found her attempting to eat: shampoo, Christmas ornaments, crayons, and shoes. See where that whole CONSTANT VIGILANCE thing comes in? 

• She is ornery. She pulled a hair bow out of Lexi's hair and threw it in the toilet. Then laughed. I touched her with Holy Water after that incident because I was positive there was a demon in her. In case you were wondering, she had no reaction to the Holy Water. She just needed time out, not an exorcism.

• I have been a neglectful mom and done such silly things as the dishes in the past and during the few moments I took my eyes off Emma she disappeared. I have found that she can climb a full flight of stairs and also knows how to not only unlock the door to the garage, but also can open the door. 

• The girl can destroy a full container of baby wipes in less than 13 seconds. She leaves them like a trail of crumbs around the house. 

• She refuses to wear shoes or socks. Ever.

 Sometimes she drives me to drink. 

What? You don't drink wine out of a sippy cup? 

You are missing out. All the booze, none of the spill.

But I always tell my Emma that it sure is a good thing she is cute. She may be naughty, but she is still a sweetie girl who loves to hug and smile. 

 I love you, Emma. 

Just try to take it easy on your momma, ok?

Weather I like it or not . . .

The spelling of the word weather in the title was intentional. We are gonna get seasonal here. Or rather, I suppose I should say, seasonally lacking. The highs have been sitting between 65 and 74 the past few weeks. We had a brief period of seasonally appropriate weather - maybe 6 days - then it was back to spring. 

Most people will comment on how wonderful this weather has been: 'Isn't it great to go outside and play in November?' or 'It's so lovely outside today' or whatever. 

But I must tell you I do not find it great or lovely. Not at all. 

Lexi wore shorts today. SHORTS on December 1st. I just threw up a little in my mouth. 

I believe in seasons, most importantly I believe in winter. 
Winter is my favorite. 
Here's Why: 
1. boots - so cute
2. fires - so lovely
3. hot tea
4. scarves - more so cute
5. snow days - the BEST part of being a teacher
6. "humidity hair" doesn't exist - the bane of my existence every June
7. using the heated seats in the car - everyone loves their buns toasted
8. soups - delicious
9. the sound of snow falling - it exists
10. not fighting with Paul over the AC temp in the house - this is about the only real fighting we ever do, so it's my least favorite thing.

Winter doesn't exist anymore. This makes me sad. Sometimes sad manifests itself as cranky. By sometimes I mean usually. And this explains why I have had a headache and a bad attitude lately. I need my seasons - this isn't Arizona, you know?