Holding Family Blog: Lexi's Birth Story

Lexi will turn 4 in two days. I felt it appropriate to tell her birth story (no gory details, I promise - I blocked out anything gross from my memory) since I was in labor with her for two days.

Lexi was born on Sunday June 22nd, 2008 at 8:30 p.m. - 48 hours after my labor started.
Yeah.
Uh-huh.
4-8.
that's 2,880 minutes.

OK, so Friday night around 10 I was playing around on the computer. Paul had gone to bed because he has a real job. I started feeling some pretty regular cramping and I got so excited I couldn't sleep because I knew - I Just KNEW it was labor. I had been in for my 40 week appointment a few days before and my doctor was on vacation, so I saw an associate doctor in the practice who rudely declared I would absolutely NOT be going in to labor - make an appointment next week when your own doctor can deal with you. We did not get along.
Anyways, I was so excited that I was in labor,
because I really like to prove people wrong.
It's my thing.

Finally I went to bed and laid there and laid there and laid there - not sleeping, just counting minutes between contractions. I was too excited to sleep - I was going to have a baby! I didn't tell Paul anything until the next morning, but he took over the clock watching for me and the contractions got down to 5 minutes apart so we grabbed the hospital bags (which had been packed for 3 weeks - I'm a planner) and happily trouped to the hospital, certain that we would be holding our baby in a matter of hours.

We got in, the nurses snidely remarked that I seemed to be doing fine - surely far too happy be in labor, but they hooked me up to a monitor anyway. Well my contractions slowed down - a lot. We were sent home with an insulting pamphlet called "Ready, Set, Not Yet!" and a few 'I-told-you-so' glares.

I promptly burst into tears the moment I got home. I was so upset about being turned away; compound that with no sleep and the hormone fluxing that comes with being 40 weeks pregnant - and my poor husband couldn't take it. He called in the big guns. My mom came over and gently patted my head (like a kitten) until I fell asleep and then she cleaned my house.
Because she's that cool.
Back off everyone - I've got dibs on her.

Fast forward to 7 p.m. - contractions are back, but this time they hurt. A LOT. We wait until 10 p.m. to head back to the hospital, because we wanted to make sure Nurse McRude from the morning was off duty (not really - we just wanted to be sure I was in for real labor). We get back to the hospital and this time I am shown into a real labor and delivery room - I change into a gown, they hook up the baby monitor and a chipper young (and skinny - grrr) nurse comes and after checking things over for 2 hours declares me in labor.
YAY!
But not enough labor.
WHAT?!?!
I need to go home and relax and wait until real labor starts.
Then she handed me a familiar pamphlet entitled 'Ready, Set, Not YET!' and bounced (literally) out of the room.
She was lucky I was huge and my husband was restraining me because that skinny squirrel deserved to eat linoleum.

totally could have taken her

We go home. I cry a lot more. I finally fall asleep. By the way, Paul's parents had driven 3 hours Saturday to be able to meet their first grandchild - who was not coming. Not yet.

I hung out downstairs until 9 a.m., visiting and pretending not to be in excruciating pain. Lexi had shifted during the night, and with every contraction, she pushed up against my spine and it hurt.
It really &*%^$@# hurt.
I went upstairs and crawled into my bed and cried and tried not to scream. Paul came up to tell me his parents were going home and saw the snotty mess that I was and declared it time to go back to the hospital.
"NO! I can't get that stupid pamphlet one more time!" I yell/wheezed.
"I don't care," he said, "you can't even walk - they will let you stay this time."

He had to carry me to the car. When we got to the hospital (for the third time in 36 hours) all the spots were taken, so he dropped me off and I had to wait on a bench for him to park the car. An old man asked me "are you alright?" to which I sarcastically replied, "Oh I'm fine - I'm just in labor. How's your day?"
He did not reply.
Shocking.

We were at LONG LAST admitted at noon. I was deemed able to stay. Nurse McRude from Saturday morning came in and said, "Hunny, you didn't need to wait for me to have this baby! Haha!" Again - deserved to eat linoleum.

I was epidural-ed and it rocked. But that really slowed things down. By 8, it was decided that I could try pushing, but we would probably need to do a C-Section if the baby didn't come quickly. Lexi's heart rate was dropping with the contractions and they suspected she was tangled in the cord (she was). My doctor was still on vacation so a different doctor from the practice delivered Lexi. He entered in cowboy boots and a cowboy hat and I knew by looking at him that this was going to be a no-nonsense experience.
Awesome - I was done with shenanigans.
Cowboys do not suffer fools.

I ended up not needing a C-Section
(because I like to prove people wrong, remember?)
and Lexi was safely delivered within 20 minutes.
(Despite there being 37 nurses that apparently had purchased tickets to the show in my room)