Oh look . . . a new post with a clever title

Paul was in Canada for work the past 9 days. I've survived without him for a week or so before, but never where I couldn't pick up the phone and call him anytime I wanted. I COULD have called, but we are cheap and 69 cents a minute is excessive. My texts only occasionally went through. Throw in being worried sick that the government shut down would include border patrol - meaning my husband couldn't get back in the country - and, for reals, I was a mess. By Wednesday (he left the previous Thursday) I was just throwing my hair up in a messy bun, putting on my glasses because wearing eye makeup took too long to apply, and hoping my shoes matched (or that I even had shoes on) - I called it 'desperation chic.'

My sweet, lovely, adorable children really put this Momma to the test during my stint as a single parent. Shout out to all of the rock star single parents out there - I think anyone who can manage a job, children, a house, and feeding said children is amazing.

Here are a few highlights:
Thursday - yeah, the DAY Paul left, Emma took her poopy diaper off and brought it to me . . . after smearing poop on the floor and herself. I gagged, threw her in the bathtub, gagged more, and attacked my house with Clorox vigorously. When I told Paul about this, he laughed (because he was in another country, I'm sure he felt laughing was safe - he was an acceptable distance away to do so) and said, "Well atleast it's all uphill from here - cleaning up poop is pretty much rock bottom." (pun intended I'm sure)

I took my kiddos grocery shopping twice. I must have amnesia because I try to do this all the time with the same disastrous results. Emma is DONE with the car cart by the produce section (the 1st stop). I switch my phone to airplane mode (no calls, no facetime, no internet) and give it to her which will entertain her for about 7 minutes. Now those car carts were not built for speed or maneuverability, but I treat Dillons like it's the Monaco Grand Prix  . . . watch out. I will take you out while trying to get as much stuff on my list as possible during that 7 minute window. When the magic 7 minute window closes, there is just a lot of screaming until we can finally check out and get back to the car. Everytime I leave, I think, "well THAT was a mistake." Yet, next week we will all be back. I'm a slow learner.

Lexi takes just forever to tell a story. The house could be on fire and it would take her 4 1/2 minutes to deliver that information.

I'm a great mom and I let my kiddos watch a lot of Disney movies while I did necessary chores (laundry, dishes, cooking, school/parent emails). It's not amazing parenting, but neither is letting my kids "help" or just not cleaning their clothes/dishes/house. Anyway, one day I let them watch Pocahontas. One song from the movie is called "Savages." The only word Lexi and Emma could remember from that lyrical wonder was the word 'savages' and they went everywhere scream-singing the word savages for about a day. Bet that was a fun day in Kindergarten.

My parents are/were amazing and helped out a ton! They took my girls for a few hours on Sunday so I could sneak in a run and get more chores and errands done - they did the same on Tuesday afternoon. My mom made the trek way east to pick up my girls 3 days in a row because I had meetings or parent-teacher conferences until late into the evening. I owe what little sanity I still have to my parents.

Lots more ridiculousness to share, but these are the highlights. Picture less highlights, but highlights none the less. I am so excited for Paul to be home . . . and he just told me he has to go back in 2 weeks.